I first wrote this for State.com and have copied it to my blog. You can see the original post here.
I love sluts. I really do.
I would though, because I am one.
Well, I guess I am judging by the number of times I’ve been called one.
The first time memorable time I can recall being called a slut was when I was a 17 year old virgin. It was because a guy didn’t want me to kiss his friend, so I didn’t. He didn’t believe me and I got sent my first (of two in my life) one-word text simply saying “Slut”.
This is the first time I remember realising this is a weak attempt at attacking me personally with a word that holds no real meaning.
Urban dictionary quite succinctly defines “slut” as “A woman with the morals of a man”. Interesting since it’s especially derogatory against women which assumes that they won’t be treated the same as men for having “the same morals”.
It’s used to question someone’s morality based on the real or assumed number of sexual partners or sexual availability, clothing choice, make-up choice, or really just to be offensive for the sake of attacking a girl where it’s supposed to hurt the most. Between her thighs.
It’s also contextual, what is considered an “immoral woman” will vary wildly from country to country, city to city, individual to individual. Hence the way the definition and usage falls apart pretty quickly.
I’ve heard guys get angry at girls for turning them down at a bar and say to their friends “She kept ignoring me, fucking slut”. Ummm…. What?
It means nothing, and everything at the same time.
It’s archaic and a really quite effective way of keeping women’s sexuality in line by judging them unnecessarily harsher than the boys.
That’s why I call myself one.
If I call myself a slut, I’m owning it, I’m changing the meaning, I’m disarming you when you try use it against me.
And that’s why I love sluts.
Self-proclaimed sluts are some of the most confident, strong, independent and liberated women I know, who are comfortable in their sexuality.
They have sex whenever they want, with whoever they want because they know they’re allowed to enjoy sex and have it at their discretion.
They’re monogamous, promiscuous, in casual relationships or are comfortable with none of the above. It doesn’t matter, they know it’s up to them.
This slut has also been described as a serial monogamist. Seems contradictory, but using the word “slut” usually is.
I, and my fellow sluts, are reclaiming the word for all girls who are; the non-consenting women in the sexual images and videos posted online, and the 18 year old girl who was asked if she considered herself a slut in a rape trial. The girls who are afraid to have sex in fear of the social repercussions, and the women who are told it’s a compliment when they are hollered at. The girls getting groped every weekend and told to expect it, and the women who are judged by other women for their personal choices. For people, like myself, who have been raped because the rapists assumed they were promiscuous and good to go, and the people who are afraid to report a rape because they think their sexual history will undermine their court case. Bisexual women who are considered greedy, and everyone else who will ever have the word slut used against them.
That’s why sluts are awesome.
They might not even know it, but by reclaiming the word, they’re supporting a very worthy cause – the overuse of an archaic term used by many to keep women in their place.
I love sluts.